


Someone To Stay

by KingWinston



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:08:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26648791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingWinston/pseuds/KingWinston
Summary: Chiego au fanficCharlie tries to get over the death of Alex Standall, the boy who was in love with, when he meets another boy who proves to him that some rich boys do have hearts.Part one is the Chiego story and part two will be the Wonty story :)
Relationships: Charlie St. George/Alex Standall, Charlie St. George/Diego Torres (13 Reasons Why), Montgomery de la Cruz/Winston Williams
Comments: 4
Kudos: 157





	1. Coffee Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is written in Charlie's POV (part one) and Monty's POV (part two).

**Chapter One**

You know, when your best friend dies, usually the first thing you'd think of doing isn't to throw a party. However, let me put this on record, the people in this town are strange. Very strange, entitled assholes who feel like they rule the world. 

Their best friend died and they were throwing him a party, a 'memorial' as they called it. I hated the idea of it but I couldn't say anything, no one knew that Alex and I were friends and if I dared to say anything, it would probably end with a fight between Monty and Bryce,

'Everyone is invited' doesn't mean that everyone is invited. When you live on the west side of Nolis you quickly start to realise that you might as well be living on a different planet because in Nolis, you're either rich or poor and that's all everyone cares about. As Bryce kept on saying: the west and the east don't mix.

It was Bryce's party and Monty knew that. He also knew that we weren't welcome and that the second Bryce saw us we would be in trouble but he didn't care. That’s what he wanted, to provoke him. 

Monty and Bryce were always arguing about something. Monty had a short fuse and Bryce provoked him every chance he got and Monty couldn't resist a fight.

Bryce was the rich boy that practically ran our school. He had a new set of 'friends' every week and he used everyone to get what he wanted, overall he was just a shitty excuse of a human being.

Monty, on the other hand, was my friend and he was nothing like Bryce even though most people thought otherwise. But we were used to it, we lived on the west side so people just assumed shit and you let them.

Monty poured himself a drink and then we moved to stand near the stairs. I sat down close to the bannister to let people pass while Monty and Zach stood on the opposite side of the bannister.

Zach was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets and he was looking around the room. Zach was Monty's best friend and my friend, he was the one that drove us to Bryce's house. Zach used to be one of Bryce''s 'friends' but he wasn't anymore. However, he still hated all the fights between Monty and Bryce as he was usually the one that had to clean up the mess they left behind. 

"We really just came here to pick a fight?" Zach asked, looking at Monty. 

"What are you talking about? We're just attending a party we were invited to," Monty said, not even trying to sound convincing. "Right Charlie?" And that was that. I couldn't say 'no' to Monty, even if I wanted to and Zach knew that Monty wasn't planning on going anywhere. So I just kept my head down while people walked up and down the stairs.

Zach bit his lip and raised his eyebrows at me and then he looked away while Monty tried ruffling my flat hair which just fell back into place. Probably his way of saying 'good boy', but Monty knew that no matter what the argument was about, I would always be on his side.

Monty finished the rest of his drink and then he crumpled up the red cup in his hand. "I'm gonna go get another," he said as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. No, he wasn’t, he was just going to go looking for Bryce.

I looked up at him just as he moved away from the bannister. He gave me one last glance and then he took off before Zach could stop him.

I slowly stood up from the stairs as we watched Monty disappear into a crowd of people. He didn't even look back, he was determined to find Bryce especially after their last confrontation.

"Go with him," Zach told me nodding in Monty's direction. It took me a second to register what Zach was saying but there he was looking at me and waiting. 

I tried to mumble something about how he would be much better at restraining Monty if anything were to happen but Zach wasn't listening. "Just go," he said with a slight edge to his voice. "I'll keep an eye on Bryce and make sure he stays away from Monty." I didn't bother asking how he planned on doing that. Zach and Bryce did used to be friends so Zach's plan didn't sound impossible. 

Once I found Monty, I managed to distract and take him away from the party. It wasn't hard, all I had to do was ask him about his skateboard and he could go on about it for hours. It was going well until Monty saw another skater outside the house and he asked to borrow his skateboard so he could teach me some things.

And so we were on the path near the house with a stranger who was criticising me. He was much smaller than me or Monty with blonde hair and blue or green eyes. 

It wasn't going well but Monty was trying to be patient with me. I just didn't have the heart to tell them that I wasn't into it.

"I can tell you're an amateur," the guy said as he watched me try to ride on the skateboard. But the thing is I wasn't trying, I was silently praying that the stranger would get fed up and he'd take his skateboard and leave but he seemed to have hit it off with Monty and they were determined to teach me at least one thing.

The guy raised his eyebrows at Monty and they laughed at me as I tried to push myself forwards. It was difficult to know where each leg goes, when you put it down on the ground and when both legs are supposed to be on the skateboard and in what place.

"He'll learn," Monty told him and then he turned to me. "Just... don't move. Try standing on it first."

"Just standing?" I asked and they nodded. "Sure...I can do that.” I didn’t know how that was going to help me but I just listened to Monty. I looked down at my feet and I tried to stand as straight as I could, I looked back up to see what he thought but then something else caught my eye.

Bryce was marching towards us, pushing his hair back and shaking off Zach who was trying his best to grab Bryce's arm and hold him back. Bryce's hair was longer than the last time I saw him, he had to push it out of the way every few seconds as it covered his eyes.

I held my breath unable to say anything. But then Monty started to say something about the way I was standing and it was as if my brain just kicked into motion.

"Behind you!" I jumped off the skateboard, picked it up and I pressed it into the stranger's chest. "I think that's enough for today." Monty didn't comment and he turned his body to face the direction Bryce was coming from. The guy shrugged and he quickly walked off sensing that trouble was coming.

Monty just patiently stood there, waiting for Bryce to reach us. "We ain't got all day, move it buster!" he shouted over to Bryce and he put his hands in his pockets. 

I moved closer to Monty, he was trying to provoke Bryce with the way he was standing, the way he was looking at him, the way he pronounced his words. I would have done anything to not have to face Bryce. Hell, I would be happy to embarrass myself on the skateboard if it meant that Monty and Bryce didn't go anywhere near each other.

But it was too late. He was standing dangerously close to Monty, he could easily throw a punch if he wanted to. Monty knew this and yet he seemed perfectly calm. Don't get me wrong, I was positive that Monty could put up a fight if he wanted to, God knows he's done it before but Bryce looked furious. I've never seen him this angry before.

"You think you're funny, don't you?" Bryce said with a slight raise of his eyebrows. He tilted his chin upwards as if wanting to appear taller in front of Monty.

Minty shrugged, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with Bryce. Bryce frowned, this wasn't the reaction he was hoping for. Maybe Bryce was hoping that Monty would pick a fight, he could let his anger out on him when really he was upset about Alex's death. 

Bryce's eyebrows furrowed as Monty stayed still and a small grin appeared on his face. Bryce raised his hands and pressed them against Monty's chest. I held my breath as I expected Monty to lose it, to lash out, to attack but he didn't react. Not until Bryce pushed him back and he bumped into me. 

"Woah, watch it," Monty said with a laugh in his voice. Then he turned his head to the side to look at me. "You okay?" He barely touched me and I nodded quickly not wanting to give him a reason to start the fight.

Zach was standing about a meter or two away from us, he knew that as soon as he intervened the whole thing would blow up, he was probably hoping that Bryce would just talk some shit and then leave like he usually does. But Bryce didn't look like he was thinking about leaving. He seemed to be set on fighting Monty.

"Aw," Bryce mocked Monty. He grabbed his chin and turned his head so Monty would face him. "Wouldn't want to hurt your boyfriend, would you?"

Monty's eyebrows furrowed and Bryce smirked seeing that he was hitting a nerve. From where I was standing I could see Monty's eyes flicker for a moment showing that he was angry for the first time since Bryce joined us.

I didn't expect this comment to be the thing that got a reaction out of Monty, we've heard it all before and I was used to being called 'Monty's whore' or 'Monty's bitch' whenever Bryce passed me in the hallway. Of course, I never told Monty about it, who knows what he would have done if he found out.

"Bryce, leave it!" Zach shouted over to him, he sounded bored, maybe even fed up but Bryce wasn't listening to him.

Bryce's thumb and index finger were still holding onto Monty's chin and they were staring each other down. Monty's jaw was clenched and I backed away from him knowing that he would burst at any moment. Bryce's eyes followed me and he scoffed. He let his hand drop away from Monty's face and he stepped to the side to have a good look at me.

"The fuck are you doing?" he asked with a smug grin on his face. "You think you can just walk away from me?" I swallowed hard, I wasn't going to just leave Monty and Zach by themselves, I just didn’t want to be caught in the middle of this. But at the same time, I would have loved to just get out of there.

He staggered towards me and Zach, who was still standing behind him, rolled his eyes and started walking towards Bryce. "That's enough," Zach said sternly and he put his hand on Bryce's shoulder. He used the same tone he often used with Monty whenever he was getting riled up.

Bryce tried shrugging him off but Zach clung on tightly. Monty watched as Bryce struggled to get away from Zach's grip with a grin on his face and that didn't sit right with Bryce.

My heart thudded so hard against my chest that I was sure Bryce could hear it if he focused on it but he was too busy glaring at Monty.

"West side scum," Bryce said under his breath and just as Zach was starting to take him away, he spat in Monty's face.

I knew we weren’t gonna leave without a fight.

***

Of course, the police let Bryce and his friends go without as much as a warning. Rich boys get away with everything around here.

The policemen wanted to take Monty and me back to the precinct but Zach quickly stepped in and introduced himself. When they realised who he was, they let us go but not before giving us a lecture, you don't arrest the Mayor's son and his friends unless you're looking for trouble.

Monty and I sat on the sidewalk and we waited for Zach and his car, he parked it pretty far down the street and he didn't see the point in all of us walking all that distance especially if Monty was concussed.

I sat by Monty's side as he pressed the magnum we bought from the ice cream van against his nose. "Thanks for having my back there," Monty said and I could see that he was a little proud of me.

I had to stop myself from grinning. "Whatever," I said and I shrugged. "You would have done the same for me."

The moment that Bryce spat in Monty's face, it felt like time froze still. Instead of standing there like a dummy, I got involved for the first time in my life. Monty's done the same thing for me many times before and maybe it was finally time for me to pay him back.

Zach obviously wasn't impressed, he kept on muttering about Monty being a bad influence under his breath. But I didn't care what he thought, I couldn't just stand there and do nothing.

I've never felt more energy rush through me than when I pushed Bryce to the ground. He wasn't expecting it and he fell over with ease. I was only able to punch him once before Monty pushed me to the side and continued himself.

It got aggressive pretty fast and Zach interfered to separate them. The stranger with the skateboard ran over too and he helped us drag Monty away from Bryce before he could do some serious damage.

We managed to keep them away from each other but they still kept on shouting insults and quickly a crowd formed and then Bryce's 'friends' arrived to make sure that he was okay

From there everything was a blur, I didn't watch most of it as it was getting pretty heated and even Zach started to lose his patience and that's saying something.

I know that Bryce tried to throw a punch at Monty again and his friends stepped in to make sure that Bryce stayed away from Monty. There was a lot of pushing and shoving as people tried to get in between the whole mess.

I've never punched anyone for real before and I was pretty sure I did it wrong because of how much my hand was hurting. I didn't really think about it, I just clenched my fist and I swung at Bryce. It wasn't until all the excitement died down that I could feel the pain throbbing through my whole hand. I clenched my hand and I hid it under my left armpit hoping that maybe some of the pain would go away after a while but it didn't. 

Monty was looking at me from the corner of his eye and I was trying my best to remain calm but I could feel my hand swelling up. "Right," Monty chuckled. "Let's see your hand then."

I sighed and slowly I took my hand from under my armpit. I didn't want Monty to think that I didn't even know how to throw a punch without hurting myself in the process but he didn't seem to be surprised when his eyes landed on my hand. He put his magnum to the side and then he took my hand in both of his hands.

He gently pressed down on my knuckles and on the sides of my hand and then he sucked in through his teeth. "No one ever taught you how to throw a punch before?" he joked and I smiled sadly but then Monty's face turned serious. "You should probably have that checked out."

Monty didn't let go of my hand and his eyes stayed focused on it. He started moving his thumb across my knuckles in an attempt to reduce the swelling and as much as I never wanted him to stop, I quickly withdrew my hand and I shook my head.

"I can't go to the hospital," I said and I looked away. "My mum's gonna be furious if she finds out." It wasn't a lie. If my mum found out I was involved in a fight, she would have locked me inside until I turned twenty-one but at the same time I didn't want to bother Zach, he was already annoyed with me.

"We'll come up with an excuse," Monty said with a shrug. He stretched and then he stood up from the sidewalk to look around for Zach. Monty was good at coming up with excuses for everything, he’s been doing it since he was little.

"It might not even be broken or anything," I said, still trying to get out of going to the hospital. and I had to tilt my head upwards to look at Monty.

"We can have Zach's mum take a look at it first, eh? Then we'll decide what to do," Monty said and he held his hand out to me to help me stand up. "Up you get, Zachy's waiting."

I had to use my left hand as my right hand was pretty much useless and Monty dragged me up to my feet. He looked down at the ground and then he noticed the magnum still laying there.

"Here," he said and he bent forward to pick it up. His shirt moved up a little and I could see his back dimples and I had to force myself to look away. "Might be good for your hand." He studied the ice cream and he felt it with his hand to check if it was still cold. Then he threw the ice cream towards me just as Zach's car was pulling up across the road.

“Thanks,” I mumbled but he was already walking to the car and he didn’t hear me. 

***

I'm not going to school today. In fact, I won't go to school for the whole week, I told myself as I lay there. You don’t punch Bryce Walker and get away with it, I was sure that I would be dead soon.

My plans to stay at home were destroyed as soon as I heard the front door opening and closing. I should have never given them a key to my house.

I opened my eyes and the first thing I realised was that I fell asleep in the living room. The second is that there was only one other guy in my living room. "Where's Monty?" I asked as I looked around as if expecting him to come out of my kitchen any minute now.

Zach sighed. "He went to go get coffee and if you're not up by the time he comes back then we're both in trouble." Zach meant it, Monty wasn’t going to let me skip school but Zach on the other hand...

"I'm not going to school," I announced and Zach's shoulders sunk. He never knew how to deal with me. It must have been a background thing or something, you know. Monty and I came from roughly the same background while Zach was wealthy and always had his parents supporting him. He didn’t know how to convince me to get up.

"Come on, we gave you the day off yesterday," Zach said. All it took was one text and they let me get away with not going to school even if it meant that I was missing the first day back. "If we let you have today off then you'll just keep on having days off." Just because he was right didn't mean I'd go to school.

Zach grabbed my duvet and tried to pull it off of me but I quickly grabbed it and tugged it away from him. "I give up," he said and he let me pull the duvet over my head. Zach didn't like putting effort into things. He was used to getting his way by doing practically nothing.

At that moment, the front door opened again and closed. "Is he up?" I heard Monty shout from the hallway and I knew that I was in trouble just hearing the tone of his voice.

"I tried everything but-" Zach started.

I heard Monty put his shoes on the rack in the hallway and close the door. "But it didn't do shit," he interrupted Zach. "Right."

He walked into the living room and put the coffee tray down on the table. "Up, up, up," he said and tugged the duvet away from me. I groaned and turned my back to him.

Monty gave an amused laugh. "I don't care what you do, but we're taking you to school whether you're dressed or not." I knew that I couldn't start missing school or they'd figure out that something was up. That it wasn't just about my fight with Bryce and I didn't want to have to tell them about Alex. I wasn't sure if they'd understand. 

"If I were you I'd start getting dressed," Zach added and then he turned to Monty. "I'll wait in the car, we set off in twenty."

Eventually, I got up and went upstairs to get ready. Monty waited downstairs for me and he definitely gave me more than 20 minutes. I came downstairs once I heard Monty shouting my name.

"Have you seen this bullshit?" Monty asked as he shoved his phone in my face. He didn't even give me enough time to glance at it. "Jessica is throwing a back to school party. Organising a party would definitely be one of my priorities if one of my friends offed himself."

'Offed himself'. I felt sick and I just didn't know what to say. Maybe if Monty knew that I was friends with Alex then he'd be a little more sympathetic but he didn't know.

"Let's go," I said surprising both of us. 

"What?" 

"I wanna go to the party," I repeated. Anything to not stay at home with my mother for the full weekend. Anything to take my mind off of Alex.

Monty pulled a face. "You feeling alright?" I understood where he was coming from, parties weren't my thing and they never turned out great. I think the party at Bryce's house was enough to prove that but I didn't want to stay at home and mop around about Alex all day. 

"It's just a party," I said with a shrug and Monty didn't give me a definite answer, he just sort of shrugged and then gave me the coffee that he already managed to drink half of.

"Zachy's waiting," he said and he threw me my jacket. I guess parties just weren't for us. 

***

Avoiding Bryce wasn't easy when he was everywhere, everyone surrounded him and asked him how he was after his best friend 'offed himself' as Monty said. 

There were posters cluttering the corridors now. "Need help? Speak out!" was  _ everywhere _ , my brain was starting to hurt. Our school knew less about mental health than an Instagram advice page. Trust me, I've tried it and it doesn't work. 

What annoyed me most though, was how everyone stuck all those pictures of Alex up on his locker. They acted like they knew him, like they were his friends but if they did, they would have known that Alex hated all of the pictures where he had bleached his hair. 

**…**

_ "Why did you bleach it then? If you don't like it," I asked him and I ran my hand over the soft bristles of his shortly cut hair.  _

_ He was trying to focus on the video game in front of him and he kind of made a face at me and moved away from my touch. "I don't know," he admitted and sighed. "My dad told me not to so I did." _

_ Alex was always doing something to piss off his father, anything to get under his skin. Thinking about it, it was probably his way of acting out, of trying to get his father's attention.  _

_ I didn't realise back then, just thought he was this rebellious fun guy and I wanted to hang around with him. He was only hanging out with me because Bryce was busy, he left town for the weekend and Alex didn't really like any of Bryce's other friends. I was always his back up option, the guy he would turn to when he needed a friend. If only I could have been who he wanted me to be.  _

_ If only I hadn't ruined it.  _

_ He smiled then and his face illuminated green as the TV screen showed that he was first on the leaderboard. "See that?" he said and he turned to me. I liked seeing him like this, caught up in the moment and just being himself.  _

_ I never thought he'd be like this, he never smiled in school, never even spoke to anyone except for Bryce and he probably wouldn't have ever even said a word to me if it wasn't for that one detention we had together. _

_ "Yeah. Amazing," I said and he smiled because he thought I was talking about the game. _

**…**

"A thousand percent sure," Monty said and I snapped out of it realizing where I was. Monty's locker with him and Zach, not in Alex's living room. 

"Man, you gotta be lying," Zach said and I frowned, not even sure what was going on around me. 

Monty groaned and he threw papers out, looked under them and he didn't care what got damaged in the process. "I swear! I remember doing it last night… can I just copy yours?" Right, we had maths next and we had some homework due in. Luckily I wasn't in school the day before so I got to miss out on it. 

Monty slammed his locker shut and he stared at us. Zach finally gave in. "Fine, photocopy it. But quick, the bell is gonna ring in like two minutes." They asked me if I wanted to come with them to photocopy Zach's homework but I shook my head. I knew something would probably go wrong and I'd get dragged into it and then I'd be late to maths. My mom would kill me if I got into trouble at school.

I slowly made my way to class, keeping my head down to ignore the fake inspirational posters that really weren't helping with anything. You'd go to the school counsellor to tell them about your problems, they'd tell you that it was all confidential and then two minutes later your parents would be getting a phone call home. It didn't help at all, did the opposite in fact. 

I bumped into this one guy, Justin I think, he was tearing down the posters from the wall, dropping them on the ground as he walked on and people stopped and whispered. 

I was sure that he was one of Alex's friends, I've seen him around Bryce and anyone who was Bryce's friend was immediately Alex's friend too. But instead of looking sad like Bryce, Justin looked furious as he tore the useless mental health posters off the walls.

"Fucking. Bullshit," he said and he paused to rip another poster down. He walked into me, not even watching where he was going and I was already expecting some joke about me living on the poor side of town but he just muttered an apology and kept going. So at least I wasn't the only one bothered by the school pretending to know what they were doing 

***

It all went well until after school. Zach and Monty had football practice, pre-season or something and they tried to get me to join because they knew that I could do well but I couldn't. I didn't have time for stuff like that, I always needed to be available for my mother and high school football was too much of a commitment. 

There was also the matter of homework. I hated doing my homework at home because my mom tried to help out and it never ended well. She tried too hard and just exhausted herself. I didn't have the courage to tell her that I could do it myself and she should sleep.

Monty told me that they'd meet up with me in the cafe straight after practice which is why at half five, when I heard the bell ring, I looked up from my homework. But it wasn't Monty and Zach walking in. Bryce was there with all his little friends, they were all coming straight from football practice with wet hair and their varsity jackets. 

I didn't really pay much attention to Bryce's friends, they were all pretty much the same rich boys and Bryce swapped his friend group every few weeks so there was no point getting used to them. 

I kept my head down so that I wouldn't make eye contact with any of them. At times like that, I wished Monty was with me.

I thought I dodged a bullet when they walked past to order without doing or saying anything. I was always an easy target when Monty wasn't around. But when they walked past with their coffees, Bryce pushed Justin into my table. 

"Oops, watch it, Justin," Bryce joked as the guy spilt his coffee all over my table and homework. Justin stood there with his jacket soaked in coffee and he groaned. He already seemed annoyed today and he had to put up with Bryce's bullshit. 

I watched as the white pages of my homework absorbed the coffee but I didn't move a muscle. Bryce watched me with an amused expression on his face and he crossed his arms over his chest. I really shouldn't have started that fight. 

"What's wrong with you?" the one standing behind Bryce scoffed. He was about Justin's height with short dark hair and dark brown eyes. I've seen him hanging out with Bryce and the rest but I didn't know his name. 

He walked over to my table and picked my homework up from the table. "Look what you've done," he said holding up the coffee-soaked pages. "You ruined the poor kid's homework." He tried his best to clean them up with a napkin but the pages were ruined. 

"It's fine," I mumbled, wanting them to just go so I could sort myself out without them watching. Justin was pissed off because his jacket was ruined, Bryce was staring me down and the other one was treating me like a kid. It was everything I ever wanted. 

He grabbed another napkin and tried his best to wipe down the table for me but the napkins just soaked the coffee up straight away and Bryce started getting impatient. "Are you done playing cleaner yet?" he asked and he rolled his eyes. "Someone's getting paid to do that. Come on, leave it, Diego."

Diego. That was his name. He paused and he looked up at me, his eyes locked on mine like he wanted to say sorry for having to leave. But he did leave because you don’t say not to Bryce. He dropped the napkin on the table and walked out with Bryce without looking back.


	2. Coming Out

**Chapter Two**

Most people were on their fourth lap and then there was me, only halfway through my second. It wasn’t that I couldn’t run, I was great at running, I just had a lot to think about and I couldn’t focus properly. 

Jessica’s party was supposed to be a back to school party and now that too had somehow turned into a memorial for Alex. I didn’t even know that Alex had that many friends. It was becoming a trend to mourn for him now.

I wasn't even running anymore, not even jogging. At this point, even walking was a chore and I felt like I could barely breathe. You must be pure evil to make your PE class run a mile on their first week back and Coach Kerba clearly was. I should have stayed in bed but Monty and Zach were making sure that I got out of bed every day this week. One more day, Friday, and I could sleep all weekend.

Zach and Monty were still keeping a close eye on me. First I punch someone then I refuse to wake up for school and then I vomit during lunch. Yeah, I vomited during lunch the day before because I saw someone hanging a picture of Alex up on the wall. Those people didn’t even know him and they were doing all of this for him. Monty and Zach were starting to notice that something was wrong. 

Monty offered to beat Bryce up for me about ten times, he must have thought that I was only freaking out so bad because I was still scared of Bryce. I was considering taking him up on that offer to see if maybe that helped, Bryce still glared at me every time he saw me but he didn’t do anything as long as I was with Monty. But this wasn't about Bryce. It really wasn't but I wasn't about to tell them that. They wouldn't understand.

Suicide. That's what they said. But would he really… Would he really do that to himself?

"Come on Charlie," Monty encouraged me and I almost jumped at the sound of his voice. I was dragging my feet, not even caring about the lesson or the mile that I was supposed to run.

I knew that Monty and Zach already ran their mile ages ago, it was easy for them. And now they were walking beside me, Zach on my left and Monty on my right. They were either trying to get me to finish the mile or tell them why I’ve been acting weird all week.

I wanted them to go away, to leave me alone so I could go back to overthinking again. "I can't," I said and the next thing I remember is falling to the ground. I held my arms out to reduce the impact and I could feel my elbows grazing against the ground. The burning feeling as my elbows rubbed against the path was painful and I stopped breathing for a second.

I tried to steady my breath before I could start panicking, I’ve done this with my mother plenty of times before so it shouldn’t have been this hard, I knew what to do. My face was touching the ground, my elbows were stinging and bleeding and my heart was thudding against my chest but I had no idea what was happening. I knew that I fell but I didn't fall out of nowhere.

“Charlie!" Zach rushed to me immediately. He crouched down by my side and he tried to help me up but I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't. I shouldn't have picked that fight. I said that I had no idea why I fell but I knew what happened very well.

"You alright?" Zach said and he rested his hand on my upper back as I shakily tried to help myself up. I moved onto my knees and hands and then I slowly sat down.

"Of course he's not fucking 'alright'," I heard Monty snap. He was standing behind me and someone else was with him. The someone else that I had picked a fight with almost a week before.

Zach wrapped his fingers around my arm and he held on as he tried to help me up. I was okay, I could stand but my legs were still shaking and I wasn't sure if my breathing was normal or if it just sounded this loud and irregular to me.

"Oops, sorry I wasn't looking," Bryce said, not even trying to sound believable. He found it funny. I didn't want to face him but I felt like I had to. Slowly, I turned my body so I could see both Monty and Bryce. I wasn't blaming Bryce, I brought this upon myself. I started it and he had the right to act out because he was mourning Alex. 

Alex.

Bryce looked me up and down. He took in the grazed knees, my shaky hands and the blood that was dripping down my elbows. He swallowed and glanced at Monty like he was already expecting Monty to jump to my defence. And he did.

"The fuck's wrong with you?" he said and he pushed Bryce back with one hand. Monty could contain himself when he wanted to. He didn’t want to then, he was furious with Bryce and he probably would have punched him if he knew about all those things Bryce did when he wasn’t around.

Bryce staggered backwards and he glanced back at me and shook his head. "Look, man, it was a joke," he said. He tried to sound casual but the look on his face gave him away, he regretted it. 

That one tiny look gave me a bit of hope. Maybe he'd leave me alone now? I thought he just needed to get it out of his system, get some payback for what happened on Saturday and then he'd forget about it. I could only hope.

"What's going on over there?" Coach Kerba shouted. He was a long way away from us and he obviously didn't see what happened but the group forming around us must have caught his attention. Teachers, always late to notice everything. 

"Nothin'," Bryce shouted quickly just as Coach Kerba started making his way towards us. "Charlie just fell."

_ "Fell? _ " Monty took a step towards Bryce completely oblivious to the fact that everyone's eyes were on us now that Coach Kerba noticed something was going on.

I refused to look around and see how many people saw me with blood dripping down my trembling hands. I knew I must have looked pathetic and I felt it too. I couldn't even take one little push. Oh, why did I have to punch Bryce? 

What was wrong with me? Why was I acting like some kid? Maybe in some way, I felt like I had deserved it, it made me feel like I was being punished for not being able to help Alex out when he needed me. I didn’t even notice that he needed me. I swear I wasn’t normally like this, I just felt so… lost after everything that happened with Alex.

If it wasn't for Zach's hand on my shoulder holding me still, I probably wouldn't have been standing. Zach was keeping me together and knowing that he was right there by my side helped me to start breathing normally again.

"Okay, that's enough," Zach said in a stern voice, his hand gripping onto my shoulder tighter. "Let's just get Charlie to first aid." Bryce didn’t like Zach telling him what to do. He was always the football team captain and now somehow Zach got the title. I think Bryce hated him a little for that.

Monty started Bryce down while Zach and I waited. I held my breath, waiting for  _ someone _ to throw the first punch because it was obvious that both of them were looking for a fight. Bryce scoffed. He looked at me and then back at Monty. “Fuck off then,” he said and he waved us away with his hand like we were servants or something. 

Monty barged shoulders with him when he walked by, he just couldn’t resist it and then he looked at me. “First aid it is.”

***

We were actually going to go to this party, Monty and Zach were on board with it. A back to school party, it sounded great. Until I said that I didn’t want to go. I mean, who actually wants to go to another party that is supposed to be in remembrance of Alex when Alex hated parties and rarely even attended them. It was a month since he… and people were still partying and calling it ‘mourning’. I didn’t have the energy to witness that again.

So instead Zach came up with the next best thing, a night out just for the three of us. It was going great, really good, until Zach got a text from that Chloe girl and it took him about thirty seconds to leave us behind. All for this one girl.

"Zachy's such a slut," Monty stated as he drank the rest of his beer. He put the glass back on the table and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. I think the manager of this place knew that he shouldn’t have been serving us beers, we weren’t eighteen yet, but Zach flashed some card around and they immediately did everything he wanted. I wasn’t sure how it was gonna go now that Zach left us behind.

"You're just pissed 'coz he left us for a girl," I said and I checked my phone for any new messages. I told my mom that I’d be going out but she could still text me if she needed something. I don’t like leaving her home alone. No texts, I looked back up at Monty. "You used to do the same just a few weeks ago." I reminded him. It was true, Monty kept on bailing on us to meet up with some girl, he wouldn’t even tell us her name. But he hasn’t done that in a while so I guessed that it was over and there was no point asking.

My phone vibrated and Monty glanced at it, at least that seemed to distract him from my earlier comment. "Looks like you're luckier than I am," he said and as I reached forward to grab my phone, Monty took it out of my reach.

"Friends don't let friends text while drunk," he said and he grinned stupidly. I wasn’t even drunk, Monty drank  _ way _ more than me and I felt fine. 

"Come on man," I said but he shook his head. "At least check who it's from." If it was my mother, I would want to know. Who else could it have been? Monty hesitated then sighed. He picked my phone up and unlocked it. "How do you know my password?" I asked and I frowned.

"It's literally 'Monty' with a lowercase ‘m’," Monty said and I blushed. "It wasn't hard to guess." He didn’t seem bothered though, it’s just a phone password. I didn’t want to know how long he knew that and if he’s ever been snooping around on my phone.

I rolled my eyes. "Just tell me who the message is from."

Monty clicked something and then he grimaced at the phone screen. "Who does he fucking think he is?"

"Who?" I asked and I leaned across the table. My first thought was Bryce, he left me alone after that incident in PE but I was still worried that he hadn’t given up and he was going to start on me the second something happened and he needed to let his anger out on someone. 

“Zachy," Monty said while still staring at the phone screen. He cleared his throat. 'Make sure Monty doesn't drink too much'. Fuck off dickhead, fuck off.” he said and then he paused and slid the phone across the table to me, “Fuck off. Let’s get out of here.”

He didn’t even give me time to respond, he stood up, grabbed his varsity jacket and quickly put it on. He looked back at the bar where the bartender was and he was now looking us up and down suspiciously. Zach paid beforehand but it seemed like a good idea to get out. I grabbed my own jacket and then Monty and I were out of there before anyone could even ask us for our names.

We might have been running, we might have ran for a minute or two until we were a few streets down and we were sure that we had gotten away. You can’t risk it when you’re like us, west siders were treated like dirt here in Nolis. They would call the police on us without hesitation if they thought something didn’t add up.

“Think we lost them?" Monty asked and I felt my mouth filling up with this strange sour taste. The little alcohol I had and all that running made me feel nauseous. 

One minute I was standing next to Monty, looking back to see if anyone was following us and the next I was bent over a trash can at the side of the road, puking out anything I had in me. 

"There, there," Monty said as he patted my back while I vomited outside the bus stop. I didn't think he had it in him, to actually stay and make sure I was okay instead of stepping back. 

The second that I felt like I was okay again, I stepped away from the trash can. My eyes watered and I shivered. "Sorry," I muttered and then I wiped my mouth with my T-shirt.

"That's fucking disgusting," Monty said as he watched me. He was one to talk, I've seen him do worse shit and I never said a word. Not even when he fell asleep in a puddle of his own sick and Zach forced me to clean it up because he couldn't even look at it. 

We started walking after I reassured Monty that I was okay and I wouldn't vomit on him. 

"Do you think Zach's worried about us?" I asked and Monty scoffed. Zach was always worried about us because he felt sort of responsible for looking after best of us. He lived on the east side so he immediately had more power than us, he hated the whole hierarchy system. We all did. 

Monty didn't answer my question, he just put his hands in his pockets and looked away. 

It was early September but it was actually kind of cold. At least I brought my jacket with me. 

"How the fuck are we gonna get home?" Monty mumbled to himself. He wasn't expecting an answer but I gave him one anyway.

"We could call Zach?" I offered. The original plan was that Zach would drive us to his house and we would spend the night there like we normally do. But now he was busy with Chloe and I didn't have any money on me for a taxi, I didn't think Monty did either. 

Monty scoffed. "As if." I didn't understand why he was so mad at Zach for leaving us. Maybe it was the fact that he left us for a girl that ignored him the whole summer. I was kind of mad about it too but Monty had this weird loyalty thing going on where he thought the team came before everything else.

"Why?" The question came out of nowhere and I had no idea what he was asking. 

"Huh?" I looked at Monty and he had that serious look in his eyes. He studied my face and his expression softened as he raised his eyebrows.

"Why didn't you wanna go?" he asked. Here's the thing, Monty could act like an idiot most of the time. But he was a good friend, he was there when I didn't even know I needed him. 

I couldn't lie to Monty. He was one of the few people that I trusted completely. But I also didn't know if I could tell him the whole truth. 

There was also this one  _ other  _ thing about Monty. Not even a year ago he was just blatantly homophobic. Used to throw the f-slur around like it meant nothing, got into a lot of arguments and fights about it because he said he hated the idea of two guys together. I hated it when he talked like that but I could never say anything because I didn't think Monty meant a word of what he was saying. He always had this weird tone and look in his eyes whenever he'd say stuff like that and I did my best to ignore it. 

Then one day it stopped. No idea what happened, he just never said anything about gays or lesbians or bisexuals or  _ anyone  _ ever again. He just stopped and we never brought it up again. I kind of think Zach had something to do with it. 

"I...Do you love Zach?" I asked and Monty raised an eyebrow and a smile formed on his face. At least he wasn't offended by my question.

"Do I love Zachy?" he repeated and then chuckled. We had to stop at a red light as we waited to cross the road. I had no idea where we were going, I was just following Monty. He scratched his nose. "Yeah, sure. Why not. In a brotherly sort of way. Not right now though, the fucker shouldn't have left us." He paused and then he sighed. "What's this got to do with Jessica's party?"

The light turned green and we set into motion again. I took a deep breath. "Do you remember Alex?" Of course, he remembered Alex, he was everywhere even though he wasn't around anymore. I just kind of needed to ease into it. Monty nodded. "I loved Alex. Not in a brotherly sort of way."

I waited for Monty's response. He sort of bit his lip and looked forward. Monty nodded slowly. "Cool."

"Cool?" I repeated. Cool? What was that even supposed to mean? He didn't look mad or disgusted or weirded out and I was waiting for some kind of facial expression to tell me that he wasn't okay with this. Because that's what I expected.

That's what made Monty's panic, I could see that his cheeks flushed pink. "I mean, I support you or something. I don't know, I'm too drunk for this." he rambled on and he rubbed his hands up and down his face so that the last part of the sentence got muffled. 

I heard it all though. He said he was fine with it. He really was? I kind of felt like a giant weight lifted off my shoulders. 

I laughed and Monty relaxed a little. We walked past a park and Monty stopped. He sat down on the stone fence and I sat down next to him but made sure to leave some space between us. We were never gonna get home at this rate. 

"So did he?"Monty asked and I turned to look at him. He was messing around with his hands, looking down so he wouldn't have to look at me. "Did he love you back?"

Did Alex love me back? He didn't even know that I loved him in the first place. He always treated me like a friend. Maybe even like a younger brother. I shrugged. "Maybe. In a brotherly way." I was trying to sugarcoat it, the answer was simply 'no'. Alex didn't love me but I wished he did. 

"That sucks," Monty said and I laughed. He could be a good friend and he could also be crap at comforting others. 

"You don't say," I said and Monty chuckled quietly. We sat there for a while until my ass became numb from the cold stone and the night grew darker and there was no one around but us.

"Can you not tell anyone?" I then asked Monty and we looked at each other. "Not even Zach?" Monty raised an eyebrow. I was just making sure that this would stay between us. 

"I wasn't planning to," he said. "But just so you know, Zachy's not gonna be bothered if you  _ do _ decide to tell him." He looked back down at his shoes and sighed. Of course I knew Zach wouldn't be bothered, I was actually more worried about Monty's reaction. It was just that I didn't want this getting out and spreading. I didn't want Bryce and Co to know. 

We sat there in silence and I was actually starting to doze off. I was leaning to the side, towards Monty until my head was almost on his shoulder.

He nudged me, snapping me awake. "Come on, I don't plan on sleeping in the park." He jumped down from the stone wall and after I realised that he was leaving, I followed. My legs felt wobbly at first but it was just because of how tired I was. 

"Let's just call Zach." I tried again. I was light-headed and exhausted and I didn't want to walk home but Monty was always stubborn, always too prideful to admit when he was wrong. 

He shook his head. "Nah, we've pissed him off enough today. Suck it up, we're gonna be walking home." I hated the sound of that but not like we had any other choice. I was just going to have to deal with it like I always do. 

***

My legs were killing when I woke up the next day. Memories were still coming back to me in pieces and it wasn't until noon that I remembered how I stupidly came out to Monty. 

Though it didn't seem to weird him out, I texted him and he replied and we talked like usual. It was good to know I hadn't fucked up like I thought I had even though I expected Monty to be a little more… against it. Anyway. I was glad he wasn't. 

My mom was still tired, she laid in bed all day and she tried to have a conversation with me, ask about school and whatever else but she quickly fell asleep and I needed to make myself busy to distract myself. I didn't want to think about how worn out and exhausted she was because that would mean admitting that she was ill. I couldn't do that. 

I thought that maybe Zach could hang out, he always had time for me except  _ apparently  _ we were supposed to be mad at him for leaving us last night. At least that's what Monty said and I didn't wanna get inbetween them. 

The best option was to walk around, pretend to be busy until I felt like I was, until I forgot about my mother. 

Going outside seemed like a good idea. I walked around until it was dark and I hadn't even noticed but suddenly the roads were empty, the shops were closing and I looked around only to realise that I must have been walking for hours because I had no idea where the hell I was. 

I was still on the west side, that was obvious from the amount of litter scattering the streets but other than that, nothing was familiar. 

Fortunately, I found a bus stop and that was something I was familiar with. I either walked or took the bus everywhere I went because I couldn't afford a car and taxis were expensive.

I only waited a few minutes at the bus stop and when the bus came, I got on and scanned my monthly pass. It wasn't the usual bus I took but it was the closest thing to it. 

I sat down somewhere in the middle, next to the window and I put my earphones in and closed my eyes. I had lived in Nolis long enough to know how many stops the bus had to make before it got to my stop. This bus didn’t stop at all of them so occasionally, I opened my eyes to make sure I wasn't lost. I was already sweating just thinking about getting dropped off in the middle of nowhere.

Three stops before mine, the bus stopped and I didn't think much of it. Not until I felt the tap on my shoulder My eyes snapped open and I took my earphones out when I saw Bryce's friend smiling down at me. It was the guy from the cafe, the one that tried to clean the table for me. And still, I was scared that he was going to pick on me or something. Why was Monty never around when I needed him?

Before I could ask if he wanted something, he glanced down at the seat next to me. "Can I?" he asked and I nodded. You just don't say no to Bryce and Co. He slipped into the seat next to mine with his hands holding onto the seat in front of us. Two more stops until mine. 

"Er, Charlie, right?" he asked and I nodded again. He smiled shyly. "You don't say much, do you?" How the hell do I even respond to that? I wasn't shy, I was just scared of anything Bryce related especially when I was alone. I shrugged and he smiled sympathetically like he didn't know what to say next. One more stop until mine. 

"Any idea where this bus goes?" Diego asked and he stared past me and out of the window. It hadn't occurred to me then that he was on the west side. The rich boys didn't usually hang out here, I think Bryce would rather die than step foot around these parts.

"Erm. Town. And the train station.” I said and I tapped my foot impatiently because we were this close to going past my stop. "It doesn't go to the east side if that's what you're… asking." And fuck, I missed my stop. 

"Oh," Diego said and he leaned back in his chair. "Fuck. I better get off then," he said and he looked at me and then slowly stood up. I was pretty sure he had a car because I mean, they all did. I didn't understand why he'd be taking the bus. 

"Me too," I said quickly when I snapped out of it and realised that I was about to ride past another stop. Diego pressed the stop button and we walked out of the bus together. I’d just have to walk a little longer to get to my house.

“Er… any idea which bus goes to the east side?” Diego asked me as we stood at the bus stop awkwardly looking around. I would have walked home but I didn’t want to leave him here, he was very clearly lost. 

I shook my head and Diego still smiled at me. It was weird, this was weird, seeing one of Bryce’s friends being nice to me. “Okay, thanks,” he said and then he took a step back and took his hand out of his pocket to give me a small wave. “See you around.” 

_ See you around. _ Did that mean he’d  _ want  _ to see me around? I hoped so. Diego seemed nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, more chiego development will be in the next chpater but at this moment im putting the story on pause to focus on only 4 of my fics

**Author's Note:**

> okay, first chapter thank you for reading ill try to update as much as i can :)


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